As I frequently do when I wake up in the morning, I grab my iPhone and start catching up on all of the news I missed during the middle of the night. I always visit the El Paso Times website, and I was shocked, appalled, and extremely angered by an article that was published this morning.
No. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I am not going to support creating a new entertainment option that increases El Paso’s quality of life, even though El Paso lacks behind every other large Texas city in quality of life and entertainment options.
Not convinced? Here are my reasons:
1. Too Soon
“Construction of an IMAX theater auditorium, with a six-story, 75-foot-wide screen and about 420 seats, is projected to begin by early next year, and it could be in operation by next summer, said Gary Moore, Premiere CEO.”
Construction to begin early next year? In operation by next summer? Whoa, whoa, whoa. That ambitious schedule is not nearly enough time to spread false information about the new theater and have community forums to complain about it. I’d like the construction schedule to be pushed back until 2014 at the earliest, so the naysayers can have plenty of time to find something wrong with the entire project.
“An IMAX is expected to be added to Premiere Cinema’s Bassett Place theater complex next year.”
Why is Bassett Place getting the new IMAX theater? It seems like the Westside, Northeast, Lower Valley, and Eastside were not even considered as viable options for the theater. I’m not even sure an IMAX theater can fit on the existing Bassett Place site.
I went to Google Maps and found an aerial shot of an IMAX theater in Dallas. Because I’m a photoshop expert, I superimposed the theater on top of the proposed site of the theater in El Paso.
Bassett Place with IMAX
I don’t think the new theater will fit. Also, where will I park?
3. Destruction of Existing Theaters
“Premiere will probably replace two auditoriums in its 18-screen Bassett theater and add the IMAX auditorium, which also will require a higher roof to accommodate IMAX’s huge screen.”
Are you kidding me? Let me get this straight. Two perfectly good, fully functioning theaters are going to be replaced to make room for an IMAX theater? Not on my watch. Why can’t these existing theaters be remodeled to support IMAX films? It can’t be that hard to make the roofs higher and the walls wider on the two theaters that are going to be unnecessarily replaced.
4. Private Investors Make Money
“‘El Paso has been on IMAX’s radar for a number of years. It’s one of the largest markets in the United States without an IMAX theater,’ [Gary] Moore said from his Big Spring, Texas, office.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want El Paso on anyone’s “radar.” El Paso needs to stay off everyone’s radar, otherwise more tourists will visit the city and more money will be spent inside the city by those tourists. I’m also not going to support a private company like Premiere that spends their own money securing the rights to build a new IMAX theater, only to turn around and make a profit by selling tickets to watch movies inside the new theater. Very corrupt if you ask me. Maybe Premiere would take the bold step of donating all profits generated by the theater to local charitable organizations. I doubt any private company would do that though.
As you can clearly see from my well thought-out arguments, the construction of a new IMAX theater in El Paso is a horrible idea. I’d like to ask City Council to add Proposition 4 (The Construction of a New IMAX Theater) to the ballot in November so the citizens of El Paso can decide if they want the new theater. We’ve waited years for a IMAX theater. Why can’t we wait six more weeks to decide?
Update: This blog post has taken on a life of its own. Thank you to everyone who has read, shared, and commented. Just to be clear, my post is a satire on the arguments presented by opponents to the ballpark plan. I fully support the ballpark plan, the quality of life bonds, the IMAX Theater, and anything else that makes the city of El Paso a better place to live, work, and raise a family. My post was meant to generate discussion by both sides, and it sure has generated a lot of discussion!
Update #2: Gary Moore, CEO of Premiere Companies, sent me the following email in response to my blog:
Hysterical IMAX post Brandon, love it. But there’s another reason to oppose IMAX coming to El Paso, the building alone necessary to accommodate a 6-story screen will have the undesirable effect of altogether blocking your view of the mountains, a major downer for anyone standing directly behind it wanting to see them.
Huge thanks to Gary for allowing me to post his email. Gary understands satire!